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TESTS!!!!

Ok so it is now finals week and I have just taken my first final. I was so ready for the hardest test of my life but it was so easy. It was just like any other test that I have taken in that class. It was 25 questions, multiple choice. It only took me like 5 minutes to do. I could not believe that the class started at 8 and I was out the door by 8:10. This is crazy. I just hope that all of my others are this easy.

The lone triangle

Alone in a sea of people. Part of the crowd but singled out as not belonging. The only triangle in the sea of stars. Close enough to think that you might fit but just not close enough. At first glance they except you because of your points but then they realize that you do not fit the mold. This is the story of my life. I am alone even when we are at a party. I get along as long as they don't look to close. Tonight we went to a BBQ and there were 4 couples. Tucker and I, Wes and Katie, Wes and Shawna, and Austin and Bev. I don't know why but I felt like I didn't have the golden ticket to get into the club. I was tolerated but not accepted. I feel like they only tolerate me because I am Tuckers wife. I hate feeling like I am in the way. I am so lonely. I always feel like I am alone no matter who is around. I feel like I am the wrong shape and they all know it. I don't know if it is that I don't have any kids or that I haven't been married as long but they subtly let me know that I am not a star. There is a song that Morgen used to play all the time it is called One Lone Melody by Michael McLean. This song describes how I feel all the time. It is about a melody that doesn't know where it belongs. It wants to know why it isn't like all of the others. It asks Where do I belong and who it is. I wish that i could answer these questions for myself. Some day I know that I will know these answers but for now I just feel lost all of the time. I feel like all I ever ask Heavenly Father is Tell me where I belong is there a place for me. I feel like I must be doing something wrong to stand out as badly as I do. I just wish that I could find all the other triangles.

alone in a sea of people

A Day In My Life

Hello Hello again. Well today for work we took our after school kids to the Boarder book festival. It is this cool festival that celebrates the Mexican American culture. It was great we got to see some of the Mexican wrestlers do a little demonstration. It was the funniest thing that I have ever seen. The fighting was so fake that you just had to laugh. It was nice though because we had a few really young kids that would not have done well if it had been real fighting. We also got to be in a parade. Honey got to come to because it was a people/pet parade. The kids loved her and she could not get enough of the attention that they were giving her. On another note tonight is Date Night and I am so excited. We are ordering the UFC Fight and we are having a bunch of couples over. Also we just got another married couple. Tuckers friend Wes and his wife Katie and there kids just moved in to their new house. They are only a few blocks away from us. Other then that life is basically the same. Crazy busy with school and what not.

Going Crazy

Ok, I think that I am going crazy now. I have been so busy because school is almost over. I can't wait. I am going to take the summer off and try to relax. Well I will still have work but that is nothing. I love my job. I get to play with kids all day what could be more fun then that? Some exciting news from here Tuckers brother just got home from his mission to California. We were so excited that we got to see him. It was a happy/sad time. We were in Ramah to go to the funeral of Tuckers best friend Grandpa. He was like an adopted Grandpa to Tucker. I have had a hard time dealing with two funerals in one month. The hardest part is that both Tucker and I fall behind in school every time that we have to go out of town. I was nice though to pretend for just a few days that I didnt have any responsibility. I even got to sleep in that was so nice. I just cant wait for the three weeks to go by so that school will be out and I wont have to worry about all of the papers that I have to write and all of the tests that I have to take. I will finaly get a break. It might postpone my graduation but that is ok with me. One good thing about being busy is that I dont really have time to think about how lonely that I am down here. I have a few friends. I guess you could call them that. They are the wives of Tuckers friends. I just wish that I could make my own friends. You know the ones that you actully feel like they want you to be there and not like you are in the way. I guess that I just really miss all of my friends that really were my friends. You know the kind that actully come over to YOUR house and act like they want to see you and hang out. Sorry I am just venting but you know I miss the old days. Well I have to go.

Long time no see

Ok so I know that it has been a long time since I wrote but I have been sooo busy. The beginning of March was crazy. Tucker Grandma passed away and we had to go to the funeral. Then we had our spring break and I was sick with the flu the entire time. Then I had my Theatre Reunion at my old college Eastern Arizona. I was not sure how I would feel seeing everyone again but it turned out great. It was like nothing bad had ever passed between us. I was finally able to put all of my bad feelings behind me. Other then that I have just been crazy busy with school. I am kind of sad that the semester is almost over. I am still not sure if I will be taking summer classes because I am getting kind of burned out. If I do take summer classes I will graduate next may. I can’t wait, but I think that I might need some time off.

wow

Wow this is kind of cool. I am so excited to start this. I am terrible at keeping a journal so maybe this will help me to be better. Well today because I dont know what to write I will just put a picture of the love of my life Tucker. This is Tucker and I in Roseville CA. We were eating out with a group of friends. The resturant is called BJ's bar and grill. This was the summer of 06.

My Music